#!/usr/bin/env emd
; This is a riff on the Unix fortune program.
; See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_%28Unix%29 for more context
%-
(:def quote
(:lambda q (text, text)
(:match q
[(qu, name)
"${qu}\n — ${name}"])))
(:def fortune
(:oneof
(| "Fight god constantly.")
(| "You will be let down by someone close to you.")
(| "I'm not high-strung. I'm strung precisely as I am meant to be.")
(| "Do not fail.")
(| "Empathy opposes impartiality")
(| "Trim the fat.")
(| "The world rewards vigilance")
(| "Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.")
(| "Cleanliness is next to godliness.")
(| "Do not complain.")
(| "Correction is mercy.")
(| "Guilt redeems, not love.")
(| "There is no such thing as metaphors.")
(| "Compliments turn to insults when you're insolent enough to believe your input matters.")
(| "Excess is a sin.")
(| "Hunger is hope.")
(| "Spurn your family.")
(| "Salvation is finality.")
(| "If you go outside today, you will become nauseous")
(| "Knowledge begets humility.")
(| "Mushrooms are made of flesh.")
(| "Love animals.")
(| "Today is a good day to practice bilocation.")
(| "Drugs have no mystic content.")
(| "Irony is the weakest brand of pessimism")
(| "Sin rots the flesh.")
(| "Sex wastes the male body.") ; male sexuality is fundamentally weak
(| "Did you remember to put apotheosis on your to-do list?")
(| "Cultivate weakness.")
(| "Beauty is a moral imperative.")
(| "What do you know about dietetics?")
(| "Hobbies are sublunary")
(| "To err is immoral.")
(| "No man is holy.")
(| "Bats can give humans rabies.")
; contrition and certitude
(| $ quote
('''
No more pennies to fill my pockets
''', "Arrow de Wilde"))
(| $ quote ("\"I never made it with moderation.\"", "Florence Welch"))
(| $ quote ("« Le beau est ce qu'on désire sans vouloir le manger. »", "Simone Weil"))
(| $ quote ("\"You're more likely to get cut with a dull tool than a sharp one.\"", "Fiona Apple"))
(| $ quote ("\"You forgot the difference between equanimity and passivity.\"", "Fiona Apple"))
(| $ quote ("\"I don't believe in empirical science. I only believe in a priori truth.\"", "Kurt Gödel")) ; german? hm
(| "Obedience is a virtue.")
(| "\"You have potential,\" is an insult.")
(| "Leisure is a sin")
(| "Strive on all fronts")))
(:def main
fortune)